


Pumpkin Morons

by Shitfish



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Boys Being Wipms, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Pumpkin Spice Latte
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 06:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16718003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shitfish/pseuds/Shitfish
Summary: So, pumpkin spice latte is a big thing now, apparently. Well, Shane Madej hates it. Then why the fuck our poor Sasquatch would go through over a billion of pumpkin spice latte recipes, then spend hours to recreate one of them? They say love is blind, for Shane it's tasteless.





	1. Pumpkins everywhere

**Author's Note:**

> So, Hey, guys, gals and all of y'all! 
> 
> Yeah. Just some notes...  
> So, I know chapters are super short. But hear me out, please. At first, I planned to post this as a one-shot, but it turns out editing takes more time than I thought so it's gonna be a multi-chapter. Sorry. 
> 
> Okay, that's all. Enjoy!

 

 

Let's get clear two things. One, Shane is a coffee addict. A real one. He loves and needs coffee until the point that if he doesn't get his morning cup of hot liquid heaven he not only will feel miserable all day but also he'll make sure to totally destroy it for Ryan. Second, he loves pumpkin, its nostalgic taste and the fact you can make it into anything from a light cream-soup to sweet pie makes it his favourite veggie ever. (Yeah, he really loves it, to the point one drunken night he's gone as far as to bite a big ol' chunk out of one, a raw one... ) And so you would think that mixing those two it's THE way to make him the happiest man in the entire world. Well, guess what, surprise - he hates pumpkin spice coffee.

Therefore when Ned comes to his and Ryan's desk holding one of those disgusting Starbuck's pumpkin frappes blabbing about how good it is, and how he doesn't get people who don't like it, he hums and immediately turns back to his computer. Ryan, on the other hand, seems intrigued and lets himself get pulled into Ned's ridiculous talk. Then Shane, much to his annoyance, hears two men squint, excited like two high-school girls, over the greatest disappointment of his life, and that's way above enough for him. He violently pulls his headphones on and groans, which gets him a few weird looks from some people at the office and a snickering laughter from Ryan. But frankly, he couldn't care less.

 

...

 

He hopes that this incident was just a one-time thing and that the abomination that is any kind of nd of pumpkin spice coffee will be quickly forgotten by everyone forever. Of course, he's wrong. Not only the pumpkin spice latte seems to haunt him on the web, and by the way at least partially ruin the Halloween preparation for him, but also Ryan had to get obsessed with it too. It comes to the point that on Wednesday he comes to work completely wrecked, truly a shadow of a man, because he couldn't get any sleep after he woke up in the middle of the night, cold sweat dripping down his neck, from a pumpkin-latte-themed nightmare.

In the dream, Ryan dressed as pumpkin spice latte dragged him into the woods, which he claimed were haunted by some XVIth century ghosties. Instead of ghosts, they found a fridge full of different kinds of pumpkin spice coffees, all of which Ryan made him drink saying it will make the ghost manifest themselves. Shane woke up with his head spinning and buzzing with ache, dream-Ryan's words still echoing in his ears. "Shit, dude you've got to drink all of it! Please, otherwise ghost won't show up. Do it for me!" He cursed quietly. How could he refuse when Ryan was asking him with such a desperate voice? How could he refuse Ryan anytime at all? Even in his dream, he couldn't resist his little friend's charm. Fuck, fuck, duck. He was totally, utterly fucked.

Shane shakes his head at the memories from this morning painfully vivid in his tired mind. As he walks into the office he can see Ryan already settled in his chair and obviously sipping at a pumpkin latte. And okay maybe the dream itself wasn't that much, but it dragged out to the surface some other problems he's been having. As for example this Ryan-thing that he's been pushing to the back of his mind for literals months now. And this stupid dream and this stupid pumpkin latte somehow made it pop out and at this point, the thoughts of Ryan takes up so much space in its brain, Shane doubts there's any room left for anything else.

And here's the thing, maybe Shane's not a control freak but not being able to get a grasp of his own mind annoys him beyond recognition. Feeling anger building up in his stomach he can't stop a deep sigh from escaping his mouth. He dashes towards his desk, trying to not pay any attention to his best friend or the drink in his hand. As quickly as he can he throws all of his things on the desktop then rushes to the kitchenette where he hopes he'll be gladly blessed with some regular, no sugar, no milk, black coffee.

Fortunately, he's not wrong. As soon as Shane steps over the threshold of one of the many kitchenettes displayed all around the Buzzfeed office building his senses are nicely rewarded with the distinct, rich smell of the Cuban coffee. And so he can't help the smile on his face. He helps himself to two mugs of the liquid dark gold before he's finally back to life, ready to return to his desk and get some work done. By the time he settles in his chair and puts on his headphones he's longtime forgotten both his nightmare and the image of Ryan with pumpkin latte in his palm from this morning. The second one being the live incarnation of the first one. Hopefully, Ryan's not at his desk to remind him of any of it, so he calmly gets into his zone.

 

...

 

Exactly four hours later his still fully absorbed by his work, as far as to not actually notice when someone pokes his shoulder. Only when the person takes off his headphones which forces him to look up, away from the video he's editing right now. The unhappy groan stops halfway his throat when he sees it's, Ryan staring at him angrily. The little guy's arms are crossed on his chest, his eyes dark and his usually smiling lips form a thin line.

' Hey, buddy, what's up? ' asks Shane in a light tone, a little bit confused.

' That's my line. ' says Ryan coldly.

' What? ' now Shane's really disoriented. What the hell happened while he was indulged in his work? Did he forget they were supposed to have a recording session today? Nah, not possible, they have the sound booth reserved for tomorrow and the post-mortem would be as usual filmed on Monday, soo... What's going on in here?

' Shane, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about ' Ryan rubs his nose with two fingers. His voice sounds tired with some undertones of annoyance. Shane blinks twice before he answers.

' Well, I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about, Ryan. ' it comes out a little bit more harsh than he intended, but fuck, to his knowledge he didn't do anything for Ryan to act like that. He tries to think about something to say which would clear the atmosphere between them, but before he can come up with a single thing he's pulled up to his legs and dragged out of the room.

The grip of Ryan's hand doesn't loosen up as the smaller man leads him through the corridors to an empty meeting room on the third floor. Shane doesn't even try to resist, he knows Ryan well enough to be aware sometimes it's better to let him do whatever he decided. Or at least that's how he'll justify himself later. The truth is the moment Ryan's fingers grabbed his forearm his legs have gone a little bit weak while his mind's gone blank so the thought of resting hasn't even occurred to him.

 

 

When they step into the meeting room Ryan finally lets Shane's hand go and the latter almost gasps about it. Almost. His forearm feels empty-cold and that Shane thinks is a very lonely feeling. However, he doesn't really have time to contemplate it, because Ryan is closing the door behind them and turns around to meet Shane's eyes with his own piercing gaze. He seems a little less pissed off and a lot more scared which considering the circumstances is weird. So unexpectedly odd that Shane already opens his mouth to ask if this room is supposedly haunted or something, but Ryan cuts him off before any sound has a chance to escape his mouth.

' So, I think I know the reason behind your behaviour. And... ' Ryan brings his left hand up to scratch the back of his own neck in embarrassment. ' I'm sorry okay? ' he fires up giving Shane a hot, glance with his eyes all glassy and he's panting angrily as if he's just got something that was bothering him for a while out of his system.

And well, Shane's beyond confused. What is Ryan apologizing for? And why he looks as if he confessed to committing at least five gruesome murders?

First Shane blinks, then he frowns, then he finally pulls himself together and says, ' Wait, Ryan, like really what are you talking about? Cause if your aim was to get me confused as fuck, then there you have it. '

Ryan snorts, then gives Shane a seriously pained look.' Hey, don't be a dick about it. ' his voice comes out high-pitched, almost as if he's begging.

When Shane doesn't answer anything, still trying to get his finger on whatever this situation he found himself in actually is, the shorter man sights deeply and takes a few steps. They're chest to chest now, and Shane has to bite on his bottom lip to muffle a surprised gasp. Ryan's eyes are dark and sparkle with determination. He grabs the collar of Shane's light button-down with his both hands and pulls his face closer, till their noses are not further than two inches away. Shane's hypnotized by his friend's eyes as something emerges on their surface, something hot and gooey and really, really sweet. "Like a marshmallow on a stick." Shane thinks, and he immediately feels like laughing, cause what kind of comparison is that?

But he doesn't, because Ryan in front of him takes a deep breath and words fall out of his mouth in a cascade,' I didn't really want you to know, but then it seemed that you found out by yourself, and now I'm not so sure anymore but I already prepared myself to face whatever comes next so I guess I can as well just tell you ' he stops blabbing for a while hesitant, but then picks up in a immensely tiny, cracking voice, that makes him look so vulnerable ' I'm kind of in-in love with your stupid, hotdog loving mug. '

As the words melt into the silence, they both remain immobile, Shane desperately trying (and failing) to force his brain to work again, Ryan waiting for any reaction from the big guy, too scared to move.

' You- you what? ' are the only shattered pieces of words that Shane manages to push out of his stupid mouth, his voice breathy and trembling. Ryan let's go of Shane's shirt and steps back, pure terror painted all over his face.

' Look, I don't expect anything from you... ' he says slowly as he backs up.

He acts as if Shane was some kind of wild animal (knowing Ryan probably a bear), that could shred him into the pieces any time and frankly normally Shane would tase him about it. However now Ryan's reluctant pose only pains him.

' Ryan? ' Shanes says hurt, a disappointed frown on his face.

Ryan probably reads it off as Shane feeling betrayed by his best friend holding some kind of deeper feelings for him, cause his hand is on the doorknob and his eyes are wide and glassy with fear again. It's so wrong in so many ways because what hurts Shane is exactly that Ryan thinks he would hate him for those feelings, that he could reject not only them but Ryan's friendship. He wants, so desperately needs, to say Ryan that he's so fucking wrong, but the latter is already on the other side of the door. Fast, thumping steps fill up the hallway, and Shane finds himself frozen with one hand dramatically reaching out, fingers clenching around the empty air in front of him.


	2. The Slavic Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is fucked up, but it gets kinda better when your friend starts to go all 'Sigmund Freud' on you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> Here's some Jen being all cute and smart far y'all. 
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy!

 

 

After their conversation, if Ryan doing all the talking and then dashing out of the room in a speed of light is what can be called a conversation. Well, so after the disaster in the meeting room Ryan has to do his very best to avoid Shane because he can't find him anywhere for the rest of the day. The next morning to Shane's terror Ryan's desk is empty even though he usually turns in way earlier than Shane.

At lunch as well he's nowhere to be found, however Shane's runs on Dyasha, who kindly informs him that Ryan currently besieges one of the studios on the second floor. Shane's thinks of going there as soon as the lunch is over, cause who knows in which hole Ryan dug himself up to hide from Shane while lunch. But when he checks all of the second floor, it turns out it's only so Steven and Andrew could tell him that Ryan has already left.

Pretty much the same pattern repeats itself the next day. Shane doesn't get to see Ryan at all and the little guy doesn't answer to any of his messages. What's more, they still have some voice-overs and the shots of them reacting to the creaks and shuffles that Ryan reads of as ghosts whimpering and whispering around them to shot. And that's what gets Shane seriously worried, because as much as he understands Ryan avoiding him on the daily basis - even if he's not happy whit it, frankly it's the worst but he gets it - Ryan neglecting his work is truly alarming. That's what pushes Shane to the edge, at this point he tries to come up with anything that would get Ryan to talk to him, or at least to tell him to 'fuck off' via message, and he figures out there's only one way to convince his best friend that his reaction was nothing more than a genuine surprise.

 

...

 

On Friday night he finds himself doing something he thought he would never ever do, even under a death-threat - he researches pumpkin spice coffee recipes. He spends hours going through all of the more classic ones "pumpkin latte", "pumpkin Frappuccino", "pumpkin café au lait" (which he still doesn't understand how it's different from a latte, but hey french people are weird... Just to think about this one time when a bunch of people in France danced till they died, right?.... Yeah), then he gets to the fancier ones as "pumpkin expresso with Italian meringue", "pumpkin Irish coffee", "pumpkin Swedish coffee", "Vietnamese egg yolk pumpkin spice coffee with white chocolate topping and truffles"

...maybe he's gone too far.

At dusk his head is heavy, buzzing with pumpkin spice coffee recipes and he kind of feels like throwing up. But hey if the only way to get Ryan to talk to him again is to make the little guy his latest favourite, pumpkin coffee, that Ryan knows Shane hates, well then he's willing to make a sacrifice or two. He washes himself up quickly and drinks a cup of regular black coffee, however of good quality and this manages to not only wake him up but also injects a little bit of enthusiasm into him. He's settled down for the classic pumpkin latte with a twist in the unobtrusive form of some smoked hot chilli. He plans as well to bake some pumpkin tea bread, just in case the coffee alone turns out to be not enough.

He goes out of his apartment, leading his long steps to the parking lot. As he gets into his car a thought strikes him, he'll need a tester. "Hum... " He takes out his phone and hastily types a message to his unfailing, foolproof friend, now also a future partner in crime - Jen. She replies within a second, lured by the vision of free food. He smiles and starts the engine. Figures everything will go smoothly.

He thanks God for the blessing of weekend markets because the quality of veggies sold at any supermarket really is... He won't even comment on it. He gets over with the grocery shopping as quickly as it's humanly possible then hops back into his car. Is the Saturday morning, the streets being as empty as they are, he lets himself speed a little more than usual. He's not proud of it, but he blames it on his nerves. Jen is already waiting in front of his building as he rolls up onto the parking lot. She greets him with a huge grin and a bottle of red wine in her hands. Shane answers with an equally wide, but gentler smile and an approving 'hum'. They walk into the building and cross the staircase talking about nothing and all.

Jen is one of his best friends. Not the best one, cause this spot is eternally reserved for Ryan, but she comes right after the little guy. And obviously she knows about Shane's big ol' crush on Ryan, as well as she keeps abreast with all the Ryan situation going on. Therefore when they walk into Shane's kitchen and he displays all the ingredients on the island in the centre she rises her brows lightly at the sight of pumpkin and coffee. Of course, Shane loves pumpkin and coffee as long as they not mixed together and so it could just pass unnoticed. However Shane did send her a message at 7.30 on a Saturday morning asking if she'd be the tester for his new "cooking experiment", and so she Knows. She gives Shane a single knowing look and he can't help but push a deep sigh, he didn't know he was holding, and tell her about his mastermind plan while wearing a small embarrassed smile on his big sappy face.

 

...

 

' So, say, the thought that just sending a message could be enough hasn't even occurred to you, has it? '

Shane rolls his eyes at her and hands her his phone without a word. They're still in the kitchen, Shane at the kitchen island working the pumpkin open, Jen on the other side comfortably settled on one of Shane's kitchen stools with a glass of wine in her hand. She hums understandingly while going through Shane's messages.

' Well, and what about actually saying how you fell about him in those messages? ' she teases. ' Cause as I can see, you just send him like a hundred messages all reassuring him he's got it all wrong, no further explanation, no... '

' Nope ' says Shane, poping the "p", then takes a sip of wine from his glass resting beside him on the counter. - I'm not gonna do this through the message.

' And that's why you've decided to face your greatest enemy - the spooky pumpkin spice latte? ' she wiggles her fingers in a mocking, fake-scary ghoul imitation at the end for the better effect and they both end up laughing their lungs out.

It takes them a bottle of wine, and two beers each for Shane to finally nail the pumpkin syrup (the main component of any pumpkin spice coffee) and he's busy putting the tea bread into the oven when Jen suddenly asks.

' By the way, why do you actually hate the pumpkin latte so much? '

Shane stops half-movement, with filled cake form in one hand, the other one at the handle of the oven's door. His hair is a mess and his black apron is lightly covered with white prouder that Jen accidentally got all over the kitchen by knocking the whole bag of flour off the counter. His slightly parted lips and risen eyebrows complete the image giving it a truly comic character and Jen can't stop herself from snapping a photo.

Shane winces at the flashlight then puts the cake in the oven answering as if it was the most obvious thing in the world ' Too sweet, too coffee-y, too pumpkin-y... It's just too much of everything at once. '

Jen laughs a clear, bright laughter. ' That's so like you. ' she says finally tapping heavily at the counter with an open palm.

' Whaddya mean? ' Shane frowns, leaning over the island to grab the empty wine bottle. ' Well, it's just you hate pumpkin latte because it's too good! Like you're scared once you admit you love it you'll die or something. '

' What? '

Jen's next words get lost in a wave of her uncontrollable laughter.

 

...

 

Jen is most likely right, Shane's kind of afraid of sensorial overstimulation.

It's not like he hasn't tried pumpkin latte, oh he did. He even was quite excited about it. But the very first sip of the heavy, sweet drink made him nauseous, so he immediately gave up on it. Meanwhile, everyone around him seemed to enjoy it, and well that's probably what pissed him about all that pumpkin latte trend.

People got to enjoy something he would like to enjoy too, but for some reason he couldn't. "Just don't get too caught up in your own thoughts. Sometimes you just have to let yourself simply feel." that's what Jen had said. And yeah, it was just her drunken side blabbing nonsense. But you know what, they say in every joke there's a seed of truth, so maybe drunken ladies sometimes turn out to be sassy witches.

Okay, now he's spouting nonsense.

 

...

 

At five o'clock exactly everything is finally ready. Pumpkin latte freshly made and poured into a tall warm-keeping mug and pumpkin tea bread sliced and packed in a cute bread-bags, both are waiting for the plain paper bag on the kitchen counter. Shane a bit sobered and freshly showed is dressing up as Jen sits on his bed, beer in her hand. She observes Shane changing into third or maybe even fourth different plaid shirts with a mocking grin all over her face.

' Shane... ' she starts teasingly.

' Yeah ' Shane answers absentmindedly, he doesn't even look up from where his fingers are working on the buttons of his classic red and black squares flannel.

' Why don't you just go already? ' she asks knowing the answer and continues without leaving time for Shane's answer. - What are you actually afraid of? Not rejection, cus you already know what he feels, so what? Crossing the line? Destroying your perfect little friendship? What's the point, Shane? There'll always be another layer to it. - she takes a sip. - Stop fooling yourself, bud.

Shane freezes looking at himself in the mirror, when he finally turns back he looks totally vulnerable. ' I don't know Jen. ' he says quietly, eyes wide open, surprised by his own words.

Jen stares at him calmly then nods her head and takes quite a sip finishing off the beer.

 

...

 

' I know what it is! ' says Jen triumphantly.

Shane looks up at her over the mug in his grip. They moved to the kitchen again. Paper bag was moved and now sits forgotten on the coffee table in the living room, while the kitchen counter gets gradually covered with empty and half-full bottles of beer and some stronger booze.

The apogee of the afternoon definitely comes when Shane, already flushed and red-nosed, gets up and stumbles towards his cabinet on the back od the kitchen, then returns after few minutes with a high, slim bottle of clear liquid. He put is on the counter with a loud thud and a gloating smile plastered over his red face. Jen quirks an eyebrow on him but she keeps her cool until Shane takes out the biggest mug he has and fills it up almost entirely with vodka. At this sight, she explodes with a laugh and so does Shane. They laugh hard and it's addictive and it hurts their lungs, but hey Shane's a total cliché of a sad polish boy (Slavic soul, this kind of vibe). Who would've guessed? Probably a bunch of people.

Jen's triumphant interjection comes after this, right after Shane slips from laughter into sobbing and then stops, to contemplate the content of his giant mug.

' What? ' Shane mumbles half-into his huge swig.

' I know what it is you're so afraid of. ' Jen repeats as if she, herself hardly believes she came up with a solution.

' What? ' Shane snorts.

' It's the pumpkin latte! '

' Jen, how come you're drunker than me? '

' Shut up, you know nothing! '

' John Snow. ' Shane adds out of habit. He smiles at the inside of the cup in his palm fondly and takes another slug.

' Listen ' Jen orders, and he immediately goes all serious. ' you're scared it's gonna be the same as with the pumpkin spice latte. You said you thought you'd like it before you first tried it, right? '

' Yes, and? '

' And you like pumpkin and you like coffee? Well, in your case "like" is an understatement. '

' Yes, I do happen to love both coffee and pumpkin. '

' And you like Ryan and you're bi. '

' What's your point, Jen!? ' it comes out a little bit harsher than he meant it to, but Shane's tired and truly wasted, and Jen saying him things he already knows starts to annoy him.

' The point is you're afraid that you won't like it once you'll finally get it. You were so sure you'll love that pumpkin latte and then you got a sip of it and you didn't like it as much as you thought you would. It made your confidence tumble into the sea. And now you're terrified of the same thing happening with Ryan. '

Shane sighs softly. ' When the hell did you took psychoanalysis classes? ' it's meant to be a silly joke, but his voice comes out accidentally genuine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> So, yeah kudos to anyone that got the Slavic soul thing! The truth is I'm Polish and also a literature nerd, so yeah, sorry for that.
> 
> Anyways, the next chapter isn't quite yet finished, but I'll probably post it this weekend... I'll tray at least.


	3. The finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain is a blessing, it helps define what's real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, Hello.
> 
> I might add one final chapter, or maybe even a separate fic as an epilogue cause I'd like to give this thing a proper closure. Dunno...
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

 

 

Shane's outside, thick darkness around him. The air is refreshingly cool, he's sitting on a brick wall, somewhere in LA he hopes. The paper bag on his lap gives him the feeling like he has something to do, somewhere to be. As he can't get his finger on what this could be, he tosses the feeling at the back of his head. He looks around trying to remember how he got here. In front of him cars are parked in relative order, "a parking lot" pops out of his tired, dizzy mind. Behind him, a high silhouette of some building cast the mosaïque of lights and shadows on the pavement.

After a long time of inevitably failing to gather his thoughts together again, he pulls his phone out of his pocket. The bright screen announces 11:01 pm, he pushes a long sigh he hasn't known he was holding. Finally, he clicks on the message icon. To his surprise and terror, Ryan's name is the one to appear on the top of the list. This immediately makes him sober up a little. He opens the conversation carefully as if what he holds wasn't his phone but a ticking bomb. As quickly as his (still pretty drunken) state allows him Shane goes through the messages.

Me (9:45 pm) : Hey, Ry... We've gotta talk!

Me (10:11 pm) : I'm on my waaay to yourr place, waitz for me babyu ;*

Me (10:32) : Ryyyy, I'm kost. Comw helpo me!

Me (10:40) : Okk, I'm hwere.

Me (10:41) : Letz mwe in Ry!!

Me (10:43) : Ry!

Me (10:44) : Ry! Comwe out!

Me (10:52) : Ryyyy!

Me (10:53): I love you.

Shane even being as buzzed as he is right know, buries his face in his large palms, his ears burn with shame.

' Fuck. ' he growls, then screams, ' Fuck me !! '

' Could you maybe tone down? You're disturbing all the neighbours. ' a half-mocking, half-irked voice reaches him from behind. Shane turns back hastily. A short man in soft joggers and an oversized brown jumper with his arms crossed on the chest looks at him, sharp, teasing smile plastered on his face.

' Ryan. ' Shane mumbles, trying to come up with a proper apology for all this mess, but his head suddenly feels too heavy and his mind seems to go completely blank, again. Then his thoughts drift to the paper bag. He gets up slowly holding the bag to Ryan.

' I'm really sorry. So, sorry Ry. ' his voice is shaky and quiet, a guilty expression on his face, shoulders slumping down. Ryan quirks one of his eyebrows but takes the bag without any further questions.

' Get inside, idiot. ' he says then turns back and starts walking towards the building. He gets in without looking back to check if Shane's following him. He knows he is.

 

...

 

Walking into Ryan's apartment and seeing - the couch in disorder, a big blanket tossed on the ground and a half-empty bowl of popcorn - the set-up that undoubtedly witnesses that he's disturbing Ryan's weekend movie marathon, a new wave of guilt washes through Shane. When he realizes that the film stopped on the TV screen is the newest "Winchester" the knot in his throat grows even bigger.

The thing is they were supposed to watch it together on their next movie evening. The fact that Ryan's chosen to watch it alone means he doesn't plan to have a movie evening with Shane any soon. Given that this is one of the main elements of their relationship outside the work, well to put it simply it hist Shane hard. So, he stands there in the middle of the entryway of Ryan's flat immobile, pain and regret painted on his huge face, written into the posture of his lanky silhouette.

Meanwhile Ryan walks toward the TV and turns it off then slowly picks up the blanket from the floor, folds is, puts it back on the couch - all in complete silence. His movements are slow, suspiciously meticulous as if he's forcing himself to remain composed. Well, the truth is that's exactly what he's doing. Keeping himself busy just so he can drag off the moment when he has to face Shane when he has to look into those sad, warm brown eyes. He's seriously afraid of it. Afraid of what he might do if - when he does so, afraid of the consequences.

 

...

 

To be completely honest when he rushed out of the meeting room after he exploded finally revealing what he had kept safe and locked on the back of his head for several months, it wasn't a reaction to what Shane's said or done - which was literally nothing. Sure the surprise with an undertone of disappointment obvious in Shane's voice scared him shitless, but what pushed him to run away, and then hide was a different kind of fear.

As soon as words left his mouth he realized that no matter the outcome it was the end of their comfortable friendship. He could never again just sit with Shane on a couch in one of their apartments and feel his soothing closeness like before. He could never just walk hand in hand with his tall, lanky best friend joking and fooling around without any worries, without any tension. Even if it'd go well, if Shane was to accept his feelings and reciprocate them, every freaking relationship has end one-day. But not a friendship, a friendship can last forever, or at least that's what they say.

And look, yes he knew that hiding wouldn't change anything, he knew it really. This knowledge, however, couldn't keep him from doing it. Who did the hell say that fear let alone actions induced by it are rational? Obviously, he couldn't keep it up forever - or until one of them dies - not that he didn't consider it, but there was the Unsolved (their baby) and the other less personal, work-related projects. And of course, he didn't really want to lose Shane, especially not in a stupid way like like that.

Therefore when he got the series of, only a little weird, messages from obviously drunk Shane he was relieved more than anything because by then he got so deep into procrastinating that he doubted if he can settle it down himself. And well, when he read the last one he got a little overwhelmed with all of that and he just had to do something. Apparently, this something had to be going downstairs and dragging Shane into his apartment.

The problem is, now that he's done that, he's kind of regretting it. Again not because he doesn't want Shane in here, it just scares and excites the shit out of him, to the point he thinks his heart might actually explode. And just why does he have to feel like a teenager again, he thought he's already past this stage, hasn't he?

 

...

 

At last, all the possible cleaning is one and so Ryan doesn't have any other excuse to keep his eyes and hands... and possibly mouth away from Shane. He forces himself to move as slowly as possible. His hands begin to shake in anticipation. Meanwhile, Shane's still in some kind of fear-induced paralytic trance. Even as Ryan walks up to him carefully, he remains immobile.

After a few more silent moments, Ryan asks softly, ' Shane? '

Nothing.

' Shane? ' Ryan repeats louder.

No reaction at all.

Ironically the worry, that slips into Ryan's brain as the answer to Shane's odder than usual behaviour, helps him calm down. He drags one of his warm palms and waves it in front of Shane's face.

Finally, the other man snaps out of his thoughts, comically enough, only to jump back surprised.

Ryan sighs with relief.

Shane wonders when the hell Ryan walked up to him, trying to regain the control over the 6'4 of his lanky body, and immediately asks as much. Well, apparently his brain to mouth filter took off, great. Ryan's answer is a burst of a genuine laugh. "Maybe it's not that bad then." Shane thinks, and regrets it right away, because his mouth takes it as a permission to run on its own, again.

' God, I love when you laugh. ' he says, then freezes.

Ryan stops laughing and now looks at him with a little smile. His nervousness is obvious on his face, as well as a glint of determination. The shorter man takes one more breath before the expression on his face shifts to something more serious. The fondness behind the pupils of his large brown eyes doesn't disappear though, so Shane takes it as a good sign. He stares at Ryan, hoping his face is as welcoming and properly conveys that Shane's whole attention is fully concentrated on Ryan.

The latter hesitates just for a while longer. ' I know ' he says simply.

And it's enough. Shane's hands immediately cup Ryan's face, gently cold on his warm cheeks. Shane bends forward as Ryan rises his head, standing on his tiptoes and their lips meet halfway. You can barely call it a kiss, just a brush of Shane's lips against Ryan's, which lasts only about few seconds, quick but sweet. Then Shane backs off to look at Ryan's bright smiling face, into the deepness of his warm eyes. Shane melts inside at the sight of those big dark pupils, tucked in the walnut gold of Ryan irises. He has to be lucky because he knows for sure that he didn't do anything to deserve the affection that Ryan looks at him with.

' There's no going back now little guy ' he whispers breathily. It's a warning and a question, and a plea.

Ryan responds by burying the both of his palms in Shane's hair and tugging him closer for another kiss. This time it's longer, deeper, though still a little shy. At least until Ryan drags his tongue along Shane's bottom lip, which makes his mouth part in a muffled groan. Ryan licks into his mouth, while his hands run through the mess of Shane's hair. Shane's palms shift from Ryan's face to the back of his neck, stroking softly at the sensitive skin there, and he's rewarded by a moan.

Ryan's lips are soft and warm, then his tongue wet and warmer, finally the inside of his mouth hot and a little salty. It's kind of gross and lovely at the same time, Shane shrugs the thought off and lets himself sink deeper. When Ryan brakes off the kiss a while later smiling against Shane's lips, none of them is quick to back off. They just stay close with their foreheads touching together. Ryan's eyes have gone darker with arousal, and Shane can feel his cheeks flush.

' You taste like vodka. ' Ryan grumbles, shirring his nose in disgust. Shane immediately proceeds into teasing and blows a smelly breath straight into Ryan's face.

' Gross. ' Ryan snorts.

' I had a moment of weakness. ' says Shane in a light tone. Then he presses one last kiss to Ryan's mouth before he finally takes a step back. Not completely though, his hands stay interlinked at the back of Ryans neck.

He looks seriously in Ryan's eyes and pushes out a sigh, ' Thank god you're not the pumpkin spice latte. '

That sends Ryan laughing loudly, he brakes the eye contact and doubles up shaken by endless waves of uncontrollable laughter. Shane joins him because it really did sound ridiculous, also Ryan's laugh it's just infectious, it's always been. The moment is inevitably broken, but it doesn't seem to bother any of them.

The laugh washes off the tension, the weeks, months of worries and fear. They're just Shane and Ryan, giggling wildly in the centre of Ryans living room. Just the usual.

When they finally manage calm down, they both out of breath. Ryan looks up at Shane from where he's folded in two, holding himself by the belly, a pleasant ache spreading in his stomach from too much laughter. Shane nods lightly at Ryan's questioning expression. Then throws him a warm smile, and Ryan finds himself matching it with one of his own.

And so they settle on the couch wrapped in a thick blanket, a bowl of fresh popcorn on Ryan's lap. Shane puts on some old episodes of Supernatural. Both of them have watched those already loads of times and so they can rest in a comfortable silence just indulging in the way their bodies are two lines of warmth pressed together.

They fall asleep cramped on the couch, and sure enough, Shane's back will torture him tomorrow. But well that's for the future Shane to worry about.

 

...

 

Shane wakes up as predicted with a horrible, pulsing ache in his neck and back. His head is killing him and he may throw up. Ryan's body wrapped up around his doesn't help one bit. Who would've guessed, the real life isn't a rom-com! He gets up and goes straight to the bathroom in search of some painkillers. When he's at it he drinks a glass of water before returning the living room where Ryan is still snoring lightly. Unconsciously his lips curl up in a fond smile. He doesn't fight the warm feeling settling in his chest. Instead, he rolls up his sleeves and goes to the kitchen. "Waffle breakfast it is" he thinks before getting to work.

He immediately starts to hum quietly and you know what, nevertheless it's gonna be a good day for Shane Madej. Ryan wakes up about twenty minutes later to the sound of cooking and intense smell of vanilla. He grins not in hurry to open his eyes. He feels full and warm under the blanket and the morning light. He takes a while to listen to Shane's cheerful crooning. That is until he recognizes the song.

' Oh no, not in my house, mister! ' he shouts getting up from the couch, his finger pointed accusatively at Shane. Shane which smiles wide and open. And okay, wow, Ryan loves this stupid smile, and this dumb face, and this man.

' Hello to you too. ' Shane answers calmly.

' Oh, no Madej, don't try to distract me. ' Ryan stops for a better effect and frowns angrily, which probably doesn't work out at all as he can feel a smile crawl onto his lips. ' You know what you've done! '

' Ryan, but you love Hot Daga! ' Shane laughs a serine laugh.

' How dare you even mention this abomination of a show around me. ' Ryan melts in a laugh as well. Then he walks up to the breakfast bar and leaning over it curiously asks. ' What ya cooking? '

' Waffles, baby! ' Shane shouts happily waving around with the wooden spoon he holds in his right hand.

' Yum. ' comments Ryan simply before he sit on one of the kitchen stools.

They fall into a comfortable silence. Shane keeps bustling around the kitchen while Ryan watches him with a fond expression on his face. It feels natural, there's nothing awkward, nothing forced in the way they interact, and Ryan wonders if it's because Shane's been drunk last night. He hopes not, cause he can see himself doing this every morning. Well, maybe sometimes he could be the one pottering around the kitchen. Or they could cook together.

A plate of fresh, steaming waffles is settled in the centre of the kitchen bar, tearing him away from his thoughts. He looks up at Shane and they both smile widely.

As they eat a brown paper bag sitting on the kitchen shelf in the corner grabs his attention.

' What's that? ' he asks casually, pointing at the bag while he stuffs his mouth with another bite of waffle with his other hand.

' Oh, um... ' unexpectedly Shane starts to stumble around his words. And Ryan could swear he can see a hint of red tinge crawling up Shane's neck.

' Nothing, really. ' He says eventually, averting his eyes.

Well, okay now Ryan's intrigued. He gets up to get the bag. A light gasp escapes his mouth when he unfolds the brown paper. Inside there's a tea cake, each piece wrapped in a cute bag patterned with little ghouls' pictures, next to it sits a thermal mug. Everything smells strongly of pumpkin and Ryan doesn't have to open the cup to know it contains some variety of pumpkin spice latte. He looks up at Shane, who is carefully studying Ryan's expression. Ryan puts the bag away, back on the kitchen counter and walks up to Shane.

' You huge dork. ' he says grinning before he presses a kiss to the other's mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> Writing fics it's my hobby and this one was really fun to write, so I hope it was to your taste!
> 
> I'll be back soon with some more Shyan for y'all! 
> 
> Also, I was listening (mostly) to AM when I was writing this if anyone's interested.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this (or at least that it didn't cause you too much suffer). Plus, I'm not an English native speaker so sorry for ANY errors. Also, constructive criticism is welcomed! Really, I'd be happy to get some feedback.


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